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“When I was eight or nine, I realized I liked boys in a way that was different than my friends. I got scared. Being called ‘gay’ was a really mean insult in elementary school. By the time I was in middle school, there wasn’t any doubt. I knew I was a homo. Faggot. Queer. And I was sure I was the only one in my school. Ha! Fat fucking chance. At least, I didn’t ever think seriously about killing myself. It didn’t get that bad, but it sure as hell wasn’t a good time.”He smiled, “Then I explored the Internet. Wow. Gay porn sites. Oh my God! Eighth-grade boys should never be allowed online. Especially with a laptop. Alone. In their room. Ever.”He gently squeezed her hands and asked, “But what about you? Didn’t you ever Google ‘BDSM’? Read Fifty Shades of Grey? Watch the movies?”“I was a good Catholic girl, remember? And I hated little mousy submissive girls. How could I be a submissive? God, how the fuck am I a submissive?”“Ah, Earth to Melissa. You ain’t ‘mousy.’ Not since I’ve known. “Had? What’s this ‘had’ part all about, s*s?”. Sarah went on to explain that her husband had succumbed to cancer a couple of years earlier, and her life had been on a downhill slope ever since. I had the feeling that she was in a lot more trouble than she’d ever tell me about.“Brian, I really need to talk to you, by phone if I have to, but in person if you can. Any chance?”.“Maybe, s*s. How soon do you need this talk? Tonight’s not worth a shit for me. I have to be back in the office by 6:00 tomorrow morning. Or was that an invitation to vacation in spud country?”. I knew the reference to Idaho potatoes would either get me a chuckle or a growl. But that was the way we’d been as k**s, always poking lighthearted fun at each other.“Brian, normally I’d have a come-back for that, but not tonight! But yeah, that’s an invite if you can do it. I’ll make this short, especially if you have to work early tomorrow. I need my big brother, desperately! How soon can you get out here? Or maybe I.
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